Driving Camden home it was just the three of us. Andrew drove, Cam was in the car seat and I was in the back next to him.
Our minds were swirling with the words we had heard . . . colic, discomfort, tremors, seizures, . . .
Cam was content . . . . until he wasn’t . . . and then he was un-soothable.
I thought of the weekend ahead of us. It was 3:00 pm on a Friday and we were responsible for a very sick preemie. I was terrified.
I asked Andrew to call our doctor, to see if they would set up an appointment right away. We had one for the following Monday, but I could not possibly wait that long.
We knew pieces of his birth story, enough to know that he had not been well, he had been in the hospital, and then lived with a nurse and now he was being placed into our hands, and while Andrew is very capable I am absolutely inept at all things medical.
We have the most tremendous doctor and they fit us in at 4:30 on a Friday, just so she could look at this baby and help us know what to do.
Baby boy received great care. Our doctor took lots of time and taught us a great deal. We got to know this baby boy with our doctor. She went over feedings with us and “rooting,” an infant’s way of looking for food.
She showed us birthmarks and read his medical history and deciphered what medical appointments should be made for the week ahead. He would have three different doctors visits and she had doctors to send us to.
We had a plan. And it was no longer just me and Andrew, we now had a team of people in place for this poor, sick, infant.
We were collecting names and numbers and scheduling appointments when it happened: a shift in my perception.
Our doctor came back out of her office and stood between Andrew and me. She looked us each in the eyes and she said to us, “It is going to be ok. I want you to take him home and enjoy him. Think of him as a healthy baby, because that is what he is. He is a healthy baby. We will address your concerns and his issues, but for this weekend, focus on this beautiful, healthy baby.”
And in the midst of uncertainty, truth was spoken and we were both able to breathe and enjoy.
Shifting my perspective brought peace, anticipation, and joy.
And we had wonderful first days together as a family, a family with a healthy, happy baby boy.