Adopting Intentionally – Day 4
For 31 Days I am blogging about Adopting Intentionally, you can find an overview and links to daily posts here. On the weekends during this series I am inviting guest bloggers to share their personal stories. This weekend, Andrew and I will share our decision process
The decision to adopt is unique. It can be a practical decision about expanding one’s family and it can be a mysterious urging that is felt within. Those are the two kinds of decisions that I personally know about. Today I will share with you one of those moments.
I was thirty-eight when I felt a nudge in my spirit to actually step forward into adoption.
It was my birthday and I went for a walk in one of my favorite spots, Halibut Point, where water fills an old quarry and the quarry almost touches the ocean.
As I walked I reflected on the year past and opened my heart to the year ahead.
I was incredibly content. I was married to the most incredible soul. We were living where I love, in a place we had just remodeled. I had a job with flexibility that allowed me to use my gifts and talents without draining me. We were able to do short-term foster care. We had the time to travel and serve overseas. We had a community of friends around us. Life was really good.
Andrew and I were not trying to have a child. We were embracing life and loving it.
As I walked under trees and by rocky cliffs, I felt gratitude.
And then it was there in the midst of contentedness that I felt the question . . . what about adoption? It was a thought so outside of my cozy world, that i tried to push it away at first.
And then I saw in my heart, my mind’s eye, Andrew holding a child. And I felt a wash of peace. It seemed as if this was meant to be, for Andrew, for the child . . . and then I thought . . . for me?
I pushed the thought away again. Adoption itself was a scary journey and it led to parenthood, another adventure that I saw as a definitive commitment and resolve to selflessness.
I was not ready to embrace those places, and I pushed the thought, the voice, the picture away and told no one about what was hazily put before me in my year ahead.
But once the thought came, adoption seemed to be everywhere and it was something I needed to share with Andrew. I had no idea how he would react (find out tomorrow).