Adopting Intentionally – Day 10
For 31 Days I will blog about Adopting Intentionally, you can find an overview and links to daily posts here.
You have decided to adopt. You are about to enter a process of preparing for that adoption. There will be waiting; there may be disappointments . . . when is the appropriate time to share?
This is an incredibly personal decision, one that an adoptive family should make together intentionally.
Allow me to share our timeline and reasoning, may it not be the model, but instead a helpful thought process that assists you as you make your own personal choices.
October – Talk about Adoption With One Another
Andrew and I began talking about adoption, quietly, without pressure, just opening our hands to the possibility. At the time we were fostering an incredible teen girl, and we wanted her to feel as if we were first and foremost invested in her.
November – Research Adoption
Andrew and I began the process of deciding to adopt, researching, understanding adoption and the path that might fit us.
December – Choose Adoption Route and Begin the Process
We attended an adoption open house, chose an Agency and began the process of applying. We kept all of this between us, we wanted to become experts in our own story, understand our own reasoning, be sure of our choices. We wanted to celebrate the holidays with out families and continue to be sure we were on the right path for us.
January – Complete the Initial Requirements (Interview, Paperwork, Home study, Reading, etc.)
We spent January getting our part completed. It was our time to feel as if we were taking the steps we needed to.
February – Let Family Know
Once everything was complete and we were approved and began the waiting process, we made a video (see below) and sent it to our family. We wanted everyone to learn at the same time. We wanted to give each family member time to process our decision on his or her own. We did not want to put them on the spot. Adoption can be a surprising choice. For a family member it might feel strange or scary.
March – Chosen by a Birthmother
Less than a month later we were chosen by a birthmother. This is when we let our friends and community know that we were adopting, though with most we waited to share that we had been chosen by a birthmother until we had met her and were feeling like it was a real possibility. An adoption can be disrupted at any time. We wanted to start the journey with the birthmother focusing on her.
Here is the video we used to share with our family and then friends.