Adopting Intentionally – Day 11
For 31 Days I am blogging about Adopting Intentionally, you can find an overview and links to daily posts here. On the weekends during this series I am inviting guest bloggers to share their personal stories. This weekend, Brianna is sharing her decision to adopt.
Allow me to introduce you to Brianna. Brianna and her husband, Mohit live in the Northwest with their son Ethan, and two weeks ago they brought their daughter home. Brianna and Mohit volunteered with Andrew and I working with teens over a decade ago. We traveled to Thailand together with ten teens. Brianna brings a different story of adoption. They chose to adopt internationally, and have faced unique obstacles and joys. They are an incredible couple and I am so thrilled that they have agreed to share their story here with you.
I never gave adoption much thought until I saw a skit performed by The Peculiar People, a husband-wife duo who had been invited to a chapel at my Christian college. Realizing what an amazing earthly picture adoption is for what God does for us spiritually touched my heart more than I understood at the time.
Five years later when my husband and I started to look at growing our family, I felt quite strongly about having only adopted children. I reasoned that with so many children in need of loving families, why should we bring more into the world? Mohit felt quite strongly about only having biological children.
He had his own reasons. 1) He worried he might not be able to love an adopted child as much as a biological one, and 2) he worried that his family might not accept an adopted child as they would a biological child. You see, Mohit is Indian, and in his family, adoption is seen as a last resort, an option to pursue only if you can’t have biological children.
We were both quite firm in our decisions, and our discussions about children grew so heated that it became a taboo subject in our house. It stayed that way for three years.
I look at our long journey to adoption and realize it is only by God’s abundant mercy that we ever made it.
One weekend while on a marriage retreat, the Lord showed me quite plainly that I was being stubborn and needed to humble myself in this area. While I still felt strongly about adoption, I realized God wanted me to have a healthy marriage first. I understood that Mohit’s concerns about adoption were stronger than my concerns about having biological children, so I agreed to try and conceive. Seven years after we were married, Ethan was born.
Next, God used Ethan to soften Mohit’s heart toward adoption.
Due to food allergies, Ethan had horrible eczema during infancy. It was so bad we would swaddle him and put socks on his hands until he was nearly two years old in an attempt to keep him from scratching his face while sleeping. One morning, Mohit couldn’t make it to the crib fast enough, and Ethan had squirmed out of his swaddling and had scratched his face bloody. It was in that moment, looking down at his helpless son, that Mohit thought of all the babies in the world who cry with no one to rush to their side to soothe their hurts and meet their needs.
With tears in his eyes he realized he could love an adopted child just as much as he loved Ethan.
It took another year for Mohit to fully embrace the idea of adoption, but when he did, he never looked back.
We started our paperwork November 2010, eight and a half years after we were first married. We brought our daughter, Nayami, home September 2014.