Adopting Intentionally – Day 25
For 31 Days I am blogging about Adopting Intentionally, you can find an overview and links to daily posts here. On the weekends during this series I am inviting guest bloggers to share their personal stories. This weekend, Hannah is sharing her decision to adopt.
Allow me to introduce you to Hannah. Hannah and I grew up in the same town, our parents were friends. I remember when her mom was pregnant with her. Since she arrived on the scene she has had the ability to fill a room with her charm. Hannah and Kenny have adopted twice, once internationally and then domestically. Welcome Hannah, and thank you so much for sharing!
When did you first consider adoption and why did you consider adoption?
Kenny and I have always wanted to have adoption as a part of our family plan.
All of Kenny’s sisters were adopted; two from the U.S. and one from Korea. Even before we started to try to have children we knew at least one of our children would come to us through adoption. For several years, we tried to get pregnant, but were unsuccessful. Instead of trying IUI and IVF, we started the adoption process. To be honest, neither one of us was ready for fertility treatments at that point. We were both still young and the thought of having multiple children scared us. Me especially. Eventually, after our first adoption, we did try IUI treatments, but it was unsuccessful. And still, we weren’t ready for IVF. Our first adoption was so amazing that we knew we wanted to do it again. So we started the domestic adoption process.
Were there any hesitations about adopting?
Honestly, no there weren’t any hesitations. We knew all along that it was a part of our family planning. It was just the timing.
Tell us about how and when you decided to move forward?
When we first decided to adopt, we knew we wanted to do an international adoption for a couple of reasons.
The first was that we had friends who had rough domestic adoption experiences.
Secondly, Kenny’s sister is Korean. We looked into adopting from Korea as well as other countries. But Korea was the best match for us in every way: we had a built in family connection; we were the right age; the wait list seemed reasonable; and it just “felt” right.
So, the first step was to find an agency that worked with both Korea and the state where we were living at the time. Once we found an agency, we were off.
With our second adoption, we were not willing to wait as long as we did the first time. We had waited a year after getting our son to start trying IUI. We knew that any international adoption would be several years and at that time, Korea was closed for international adoption. So it seemed obvious to us that our second adoption experience would be domestic.
We actually had a harder time finding an adoption agency the second time around. We were in a new state, so we couldn’t go back to our original agency. The only local agency required that we be active members of a church, which we were not. Nor did we want to join a church for the sole purpose of adoption. It felt like lying to me and I didn’t want to bring a child into our family that way. So we researched several national agencies and found one that felt like it was the perfect fit. Then we started the process all over.
How were you intentional in your decision to adopt?
We were intentional in so many steps of the adoption process: recognizing that we wanted to adopt; deciding on whether to do domestic vs. international adoption; which agency we wanted to use; what health conditions to consider; how we were going to share our children’s adoption stories with them; what we were going to share about our children’s birth history.