Conspicuous Adoption

Adopting Intentionally – Day 29

For 31 Days I will blog about Adopting Intentionally, you can find an overview and links to daily posts here.


When Cole came to us he was five months old.  When we were out people would comment on how cute he was.  That is what people do when they see a baby. 

I felt completely unsure of how to answer.  He was cute, but I had nothing to do with that, so often I would stop and explain that the person was very kind, and that I appreciate their kindness, though he was not mine genetically, we were adopting him.

And then the poor person had no idea what to say . . . and they would save me from the awkward and affirm our choice to adopt and then we all moved on.

I got better at just saying thank you.

Cole looks like us.  People often have no idea that he was adopted. 


Camden is Cambodian.  He does not look like us at all.  He has beautiful deep dark eyes and jet black hair.  His skin is so beautiful.  People will often comment on how cute he is, and I say thank you.

There are other questions too with Camden.  They ask about his hair (that naturally shapes itself into a faux hawk), they ask about his age (he is so tiny, but walks and moves with confidence), and they often ask where he came from.

I am not at all offended by this.

Camden’s is a “conspicuous adoption,” a term often used to identify a family that has adopted from another race or ethnicity.

Sometimes people are awkward and ask oddly worded questions trying to figure out Cam’s background, but we don’t mind that at all either.

We love our boys’ adoption stories.  We love sharing about adoption and we are grateful when others show interest in how our family came to be.


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